why do i feel this way?
is it sad that every time i’m upset or hurt, i get the urge to change myself in some way? its like i’m running away from me. i’m never happy with myself. i wish i was.
unfortunately, thats not how my story goes.
AHEM- Once upon a time, there was a broken family. Mae (me) lived with her mother, father, and her two twin brothers. Her parents divorced and her father was remarried to her now step mother. Her step mother was very controlling and liked having things done her way, so when Mae had trouble adapting and didn’t do somethening the way her mom wanted it done, she critized and yelled at Mae, an made her feel worthless and sent her to the dungeon, to which she calls her room. Mae gave up on life. Didn’t help that her mother died years later, and she hasn’t been to her grave since the funeral.
Mae was given gifts of broken promises and false hopes and dreams for her birthdays. And when she knew her family was in need of money, she gave them everything she had, and asked nothing in return. One day, her step mother yelled at her and kicked her out for no reason and put her stuff out in the rain. So Mae got her stuff and went away. Then she kept coming back and getting kicked out again because her step mother said she changed but went back to her old ways everytime. Mae tried very hard to believe what her step mother said, but it got to the point where she just gave up.
Her father told her that he would choose her step mother over her any day and her step mother continued to make her feel worthless while her dad sat and watched and didn’t say a word, so one day, she tried to give up on life.
But then she thought, “Why?” there were so many other people that loved her and cared for her and wanted to help her out, so why end it all. And what if she met her Prince Charming to rescue her from this life? She would never know if she died.
So, she sits and works and waits until she has her prince charming to save the day on his white horse.
meg and dia, “yellow butterflies”. one of the songs that makes me cry the most.